2 Years in Counseling: A Reflection
Hello my loyal readers! It’s been a little bit in regards to posting with preparing for my girls trip to the Outer Banks, and things with work picking up right away once I got back. After not traveling anywhere far in a year I was certainly ready for a change in scenery.
The last time me and my best friends where together for any length of time was probably in July of 2015, because I remember it was after I graduated from the University South Carolina and before I moved to Georgia for my first professional job. Since then our girls group has had four new babies come into it, new houses, an engagement, animals, and so much more.
Before I headed down the state there was one thing I got to celebrate, which was my two year anniversary in counseling.
If you are new to the blog, or need a refresher, you can check out my Part 1 and Part 2 of the year I spent in counseling posts I published last year.
What I have been learning:
This second year in counseling has certainly been different compared to the first one. Thankfully I have not been in full on panic mode like I was when I first started seeing a counselor. If I had to sum up this past year in one word it would be…
Discovery
Throughout the past year my counselor and I have been digging deep into my childhood, and finding ways of how it has impacted the kind of person I am now. How my relationship with my parents impacted my relationship I have with my partner, especially in the beginning. How, my relationship with everyone greatly impacted the kind of relationship I had with myself, or lack of relationship at times.
One misbelief I am always hearing is that counseling is only about your childhood. Discovering what all you went through as a child is a part of the process, but it isn’t the whole process. The things we learn in our childhood is such an important part of our overall development that counselors want to investigate and understand, because it does impact who and how we are as adults. Throughout this past year, part of me has and is grieving parts of my childhood, but I am working through it.
This year another highly talked about topic has certainly been about my engagement. Both leading up to it and after. We also have discussed how I am feeling with my relationship, since that was the original thing that brought me through the counseling door.
“Throughout the past year when the topic about my relationship would come up I often found myself saying that it is the easiest and most stable part of my life.”
Realizing my relationship is the one part of my world that never makes me feel weighed down was certainly an affirmation for me of the partner I have chosen to spend life with. Sure, all relationships take work, but my relationship with my partner is the easiest one I have ever had.
Another area of life that we have discussed a lot over this past year has been my job and career. I changed job roles in October of 2020, and it has felt like ever since then my role has been constantly changing. Mainly because it has been since I moved into the different role initially.
I love my job now in a lot of ways, but at times I find myself wondering if there is a different path, or just a different and better employer out there for me. There is a lot of reasons why I decided to pursue the career that I did, but at times I wonder if my “why” is strong and big enough to stay in this for the next twenty years. This is something we have started working on over this past year, and certainly something I foresee us continuing to work on in the future.
Where I see myself going from here:
My main goals going into this next year is to continue work on my relationship with myself and others. To not let others people thoughts and opinions, even if they are way in the past, impact how I view myself and my own worth.
“There are parts of my childhood that were damaging to me on a cellular level. Beliefs were instilled in me about myself so deeply that I don’t know if I will overcome them, but I am going to try.”
I want to continue working on managing my depression and anxiety, and the many challenges it faces me with. My counselor and I talk about how much I do to manage things holistically, which I am proud of everything I do. We have also talked about medication in the future, which I am not against especially if it were to help me. I have also talked with my primary doctor of herbs and supplements I can try out when I am going through a period like I was in the early spring.
This kind of work is never fully accomplished and done, even if I understand it somewhat more now than I did two years ago. Recently my insomnia has flared up, which is often times tied to my emotional health and wellbeing. Typically it is during a time of high stress and high emotions, which I will admit I am currently dealing with both. My partner and I even ended up purchasing a weighted blanket, which has been a big help so far. I dream of eventually getting to a point where these crazy nights don’t happen because I am the one in control of my mental health, and not the other way around.
In terms of how I am feeling going into this next year of counseling, I am feeling pretty good. We have started spacing out my appointments some and going longer between sessions, but I don’t feel fully ready to handle things on my own just yet.
Well my friends, there you have it. What all I have learned about myself in my second year of counseling.
Working through things is tough sometimes, and being honest with myself with how I am truly feeling can take a toll on me. However, with each passing month and session I am learning about myself, and finding ways to better cope with my everyday struggles.
Counseling is not meant to fix your life, but it is a tool in helping you take control and process things during a time of struggle.
Until next time,
