The Journey Home: Four Week Reflection
A little under four years ago I had set out on a journey to find who I was by leaving my hometown in pursuit of earning a Master’s Degree. It was something at that time in life I knew I needed to do even though there were a lot of outside forces telling me not to go through with it. A little over four weeks ago I moved back to my hometown in pursuit of a new job that I felt would take my professional career to another level. It was not in my plan to move back to my hometown area, at least not so soon in life, but I felt this tug pulling me back home. Much like when I left, returning home was again something I felt I needed to do.
I am a firm believer that when we feel these tugs in life we have to trust and follow it, because that is where our life is meant to go. That is the place where we will change, grow, heal, and everything else you can imagine. This tug can take you to a place, a job, or even a person.
With every move and change there is always going to be growing pains that follow, both good and bad. Attitude is the only thing that makes change manageable, but that is with everything in life. If you have a bad attitude you will get bad results. If you have a good willing attitude you will reap the benefits. This post is my four week reflection of what I have been thinking about since coming back home.
FOUR WEEK REFLECTION
1) It is nice to see the Mountains everyday! Growing up I never fully appreciated where I was from until I left. To me the mountains have a safe, serene, and comforting feeling to them. It is home! When I look and take in the views I see just how big the world and my potential in the world is. I see and feel the infinite possibilities that are ahead of me. Will it be easy to reach those heights in life…NO! Like they mention in the Hannah Montana Movie, “Life is a Climb.” Yes, I totally just referenced Hannah Montana, however it is so true! You will get winded, you will have pain along the way, you will doubt, but when you reach the top you will be stronger than you were before. Seeing the mountains everyday is a great way to get inspired for me. Not only does it remind me of all the possibilities but it also reminds me of how much I have grown and changed since being gone. How much bigger my world compass is, and how I am not afraid of change anymore. Leaving home for Graduate School was scary for me. However, it was through Graduate School and my first professional job that I found we should not be afraid of change. Going through change gives us an opportunity to tap into a deeper part of ourselves that will only be revealed with that change in life.
2) Being back home and close to family and friends again is SOOO nice! When I moved to Georgia after Graduate School, I was TERRIFIED. I was alone in a city where I had no family, no friends, and no roots. At least in Graduate School I had an “insta family” with my cohort, but moving to Georgia I was on my own 100%. I was very lucky however in regards to the place where I worked because my co-workers became my family, whether they wanted to or not. They were seriously a great crew to have and be a part of, and I miss them everyday. However, I realized during my time in Georgia that I did miss my actual family and friends. I wanted to really be part of my family and friends lives, and experience things and make memories with them. I was emotionally tired of going months without seeing them, and missing out on things like birthdays, girls nights, and even one of my longest friends having her first child. Plus to top it off most of my time outside of work in Georgia I spent alone. A lot of people told me I needed to put myself out there and try. I knew they were coming from a good place but at the same time they had no idea how hard it was, or how hard it was on me. I was also in a rural part of the state, which only made it harder. Some people are able to move away on their own and thrive. However, for me it was really hard and difficult to do that. Maybe it is my personality or maybe it is because I didn’t truly belong there.
The thought of returning home for me at first felt like I was “giving up” on the struggle of being away from home. That I was throwing in the towel and not sticking it out. However, I realized I could not think like that because my emotional and mental health was getting to a breaking point and I had to do something. I feel like the time away made me stronger for certain and helped me grow up in a lot of ways. The best part is that it made me truly appreciate being back home, and valuing the time I get to spend with family and friends now that I get to be around them more often.
You truly don’t know how much you appreciate someone until you realize they are not in your life on a daily basis.
Even though returning home has felt great it doesn’t mean that I don’t miss my Georgia family. I left people I REALLY care about back in Georgia. I left students that really helped me become a better professional as well who I truly wanted to see their journey through. Even though it was hard to say “I will see you when I see you” when I left, I feel very lucky to just be able to add more incredible people to “Jodie’s Family.” Leaving is never easy to do. Every time my life parts ways with people I care about, I always feel like a piece of me is missing afterwards. I search for peace in that emotion but it still does not take the full “loss” feeling away. In life all you can do is be grateful for meeting that person(s), and for the time and memories you shared with each other.
3) Learning a new job outside of my comfort zone is scary! I moved back because of this amazing job opportunity, but still starting over and being the “new kid on the block” can cause certain stressors. The good thing about the job is that it’s at an institution that I attended and loved as a student. Spending my first two years in college there greatly impacted my life and I have always dreamed of working for it since I made the decision to go into Higher Education. Plus, I get to work under my old Academic Advisor, who is basically my second mom who has helped and inspired me in more ways than she may ever know. Even though I am PUMPED about my new job and role, I can’t help but be a little intimidated by the fact I have so much learning to do! In my previous position I knew what I was doing, I just had to figure out a new institutional system and the core curriculum. However, in this new position I am having to expand my knowledge, and build on some of my strengths and build up some of my weaknesses. Even though it is intimidating I am very excited to see how I will grow, and the impact I can have not only on the institution but the community as a whole.
I have learned that pushing outside of your inner comfort zone is how you reach your fullest potential! I read a book before graduate school called The Pursuit: Success is hidden in the Journey. What that book taught me was that when we are comfortable in life that means we are content, and we have stopped growing and reaching for our potential and success. I realized that even though I reached my dream of getting in and attending graduate school, I still needed to push myself beyond what I knew I was capable of.
It took years to build up to this type of mindset and being courageous enough to push outside of that inner comfort zone. To silence the voices that told me that “I can’t” and believe in the voices who told me that “I could.” It took the right people saying the right things to me in life, and at the right time.
The best things in life never come easy. You have to fight and push yourself everyday if you want to uncover who you have the potential to be. This is true in work, school, relationships, etc. You have to push through the barriers that make you feel good and safe, because pass that barrier you may find something so much bigger and better. Feeling good and safe is not a bad thing, and we should strive to reach that inner peace. However, we should never let fear keep us from growing and pursuing.
So that is my four week reflection with returning home! It has been easy, challenging, and hard. Even though I have came “home” I am not the same person as I was when I left. My graduate school advisor told me that when I was considering the job, and like always she was right! The truth is I felt that returning home was in the cards for me. That I was meant to leave and bring back my knowledge and passion to the area. That maybe I can help the young people here, and inspire them to reach for greater and better lives than what they have been told they can live. That is something I always felt I was meant to do prior to leaving. It is a dream that came to me when I was only 17, and ten years later it is still just as true and strong in my heart. I have always had a dream to build up my hometown, and tell the young people that YES THEY CAN REACH AND ACHIEVE GREATNESS. All you gotta to do is have the courage to push outside the comfort of the mountains, have faith in yourself, and see the path that life puts in front of you.
It is never easy to let go of the known and travel to the unknown in life. However, if you take that leap of faith I believe you will find a better, stronger, and more confident version of yourself. At least that is what happened for me.
Always,
