The Journey Home: 6 Month Reflection
We have hit the 6 month mark my friends! I truly can’t believe how fast it has gone by. Just like that summer is behind us, the new school year has started, and fall is quickly approaching. Can I just say I am PUMPED to see some Fall leaves! I typically would always come home during the fall but it would be after the peak season for the color changes, so I am very excited about seeing the array of colors this year. The mountains are gorgeous year round but fall is certainly my favorite.
This summer was CRAZY busy for me! Obviously because I have hardly written anything since June. Shortly after my 3 Month post I found a Cottage House to rent. It was closer to my work (1 mile), a perfect size, and a good price. The first time I pulled up to the house to see the outside I knew it was the place for me. I saw the inside and was sold! I honestly had the biggest deja vu moment with it like it had been in a dream of mine before. I remember talking with my friends and mom after seeing it, and how I truly could not find one bad thing about it. The price intimidated me a little bit because it was going to make my budget tighter, but it was financially possible with everything considered and factored in. So I signed on the dotted line, paid my security deposit and first month’s rent, and started the process of moving for the second time this year. Most of my stuff was still in boxes from my move to NC earlier, but still packing is hard and challenging. Especially since I could not remember what stuff in my grandmother’s house was mine and what was already there. The whole month of July I spent my weeks at work, and weekends driving back and forth between Bryson and Sylva moving my stuff. I think I went three straight weeks commuting back and forth EVERYDAY. Thankfully it is a short commute, but still it was weeks and weekends without any breaks. Needless to say I was very happy when moving day finally came!
I was happy and relieved to find a more permanent place of residence. I would have stayed at my grandmother’s house longer, just to save money, but I believe not being unpacked gave me an unsettled feeling and made my transition to a new life that much harder. To finally unpack everything and have my pictures and positive affirmation wall art all around me was relieving. However, unpacking was still extremely emotional for me. As I was unpacking slowly during the weeks of July I was constantly sending snaps to “my girls” and all I would do was say what room I was unpacking, and that I was an emotional mess and I didn’t know why. The emotions I felt ranged from relief, to sadness, excitement, and anxiety. I think all of these emotions sum up what moving is like perfectly.
You are relieved in some ways but anxious about if it was the right decision. You are excited because it is a new chapter and beginning, but sad because you are ending another one.
I think the reason I was so emotional was because it made the big move, change, and transition, even more “official” in some ways. For five months I had been living in a house that wasn’t set up with my stuff, so I just felt like I was on this really long vacation. Signing a lease for a year, unpacking my dishes, hanging up my wall art, each item just drove home the fact that I have moved. That I was committed to this place and journey.
I think the whole act of moving again brought up all the feelings and made me rework through some stuff from my original move.
It was like picking off a scab that wasn’t completely done healing.
Gross sounding I know, but it’s the best description I could come up with to truly explain it. I have said it before but moving is hard physically and emotionally on a person. I think for me especially because I have done so much of it in the past 5 Years. I have had three big state moves, a summer in Florida, and my move from Bryson to Sylva. That is A LOT of moving in a short amount of time. Hopefully I am done with moving for a while.
Personal Life Reflection
Outside of my move, personal life and work have been very busy these past three months. I trained and ran three 5K’s this summer. I also got to host a “4th of July” party with my friends, which involved lots of dancing.
This past month I had three weekends in a row full of plans, which is great because I got to travel to new places, host and spend time with a good friend from Georgia, and hangout with my sister and my closest girlfriends. Most weekends I am at home chilling, cooking, cleaning, and working on projects of mine. I love my me time but I also love spending time with my family and friends. I also think that for me I was far away and didn’t feel part of my family and friends lives for four years, and I missed out on a lot of things and had to witness memories being made from far away. This missing out was my doing and was necessary because I moved away to attend graduate school and start my professional career. I also think moving away gave me some much needed perspective on myself, life, and the type of life I want to have. Even though I needed to move away and go down my own path for a while, it didn’t make it any easier for me.
The things that help us grow the most are never easy.
So now any opportunity to make memories with family/friends I appreciate and value because I went so long without those opportunities. My family and friends are my rock, and instead of feeling like a leaf blowing in the breeze of their life I feel like a tree getting to take roots instead. For me it is the best part of being back home in the mountains.
Professional Life Reflection
Professionally, which is a big part of the reason I moved back obviously, things are going very well in my new job! I often say that there is a 6 month honeymoon period when you start a new role or job. Much like a relationship everything is new and exciting those first six months and then reality sets in and you find out more if you are truly in the right place. I am interested to see what the next six months hold, but I can certainly say I have grown tremendously these first six months, and I still have so much growing and learning to do. I am also very excited for all the professional opportunities available to me in my new role and at my institution. For me it is all very exciting because I LOVE learning new things, and I love growing and pushing myself professionally to develop new skills.
This summer was insanely busy for us and I was managing multiple BIG projects at once. I also got the awesome privilege to supervise a graduate intern which I LOVED! She was a rockstar already but it was amazing to see her develop as a young professional throughout the summer, and to also see how I developed as a supervisor. Certainly makes me think more about moving into a leadership position one day, and how much I believe I would enjoy it and could be good at it. I didn’t know this for sure until my experience this summer with supervising, so I am very grateful that my Director allowed me to have that experience and plans on letting me get more of those experiences. Plus, I am getting to know all of my coworkers more which has been a lot of fun. I also have gotten involved in a writing group with other individuals, which is great because I really do want to strengthen myself as a writer.
Conclusion
Overall things are going good and I really have no complaints. Sure it hasn’t been easy. I have cried more tears than I would ever like to admit, but for the first time in a long time I feel good. There are days I really miss my Georgia people and previous life. Days when I really miss my students and the thrill of advising all day and everyday. I don’t like to admit it but I have had moments where I have thought and asked “did I make the right choice.”
When moving, transitioning, and starting a new journey in life I think it is normal to question your choice.
It is normal to feel torn between your old life and the new one you are creating. To allow yourself to move forward while also not forgetting about where you have been, who you have met, or the person you became along the way. To reflect on the past but embrace the present is a hard thing to find balance with.
Most days I am good at finding this balance. Other days I am not. On the hard days all I can do is embrace the person(s) I am missing, send love and positive vibes their way, and try my best to drop it and snap back to the present moment. This is a challenge for me and always has been. It’s a lesson in life I need to learn though if I am to keep moving forward, become the person I want to be, and live the life I have imagined for myself.
In conclusion, the dust is slowly settling and I am getting stability back to my world after some major life changes. I am adjusting and going through the many growing pains. I am enjoying the journey and learning more about myself, life, and love. I am trying to practice the art of letting go, and find the courage and strength to keep moving forward. Most importantly I am feeling and doing good, and honestly that is all that truly matters at the end of the day.
Until next time,
