October 23, 2020

Embrace the Change like leaves in the Fall

I can not believe it is already nearing the end of October. It seems like yesterday the countdown to Fall was on as the last days of summer came our way. August hit and just like that two months of life has passed us by.

For me the start of Fall is always crazy, but this year it has just been extra crazy thanks to the pandemic.
I have never fully talked about it on here, but I work as a Student Affairs professional by day at a Community College. The way I describe student affairs is that I am the support person outside of the classroom that students depend on to help them reach the finish line.

When August came I returned to being on campus four days a week. This was a very welcomed change in life after working mostly virtual for four months. I missed students, my coworkers, routine, and just my dedicated office space. I had the space at home for my virtual work from home days, but snuggling my cats was way to big of a distraction for me at times.

For the past three and a half years I have been serving as a career counselor in the career services office at my college, at least until now.
By the time this post publishes I will be finishing up my second week in a new role! I will still be working for my college institution, but also with a local area High School with helping students who are dual enrolled in high school and in college courses. One of the best parts about this role is that it is at my old high school!

Prior to the pandemic it really hit me hard one day at work when I realized I did not want to stay in my prior role and move up in that particular sector of higher education. It just did not excite me or inspire me the way I wanted.
How could I counsel students and talk about the importance of loving what you do, when sometimes my prior position left me feeling more empty than full? I knew I had to make a change and pursue my own interests and passions.

I had been eye balling positions in the area where I live for a year when I had that moment at work. Most of the past year I have been searching for clarity in regards to where I wanted my career to go next. All I knew is I wanted to be in a role where I could help students over a long period of time on a daily basis, could help them decide what they wanted to do in life, and to help them be successful both in the present and in the future.
When I read the job description of my new role, and where it would be, it was like a big smack in the face saying that was it.

Ever since I was in high school I have dreamed of being in a role and position like this. I can not say for certain when I knew this, but if I did pick something that impacted this choice it would have to be when I was crowned homecoming queen my senior year in high school.
Even though that night was a long time ago parts of me remember it like it was last night, and it was a night that was about so much more than a crown.

Homecoming night during my senior year in high school.

Something that always stood out to me on that night was the young girls that came up to me after I was crowned to congratulate me. Their ages ranged from five to twelve, and most of their comments were about my dress or how pretty I looked, but they said everything they needed with their eyes. They were inspired just like I was when I was once their age on homecoming night.

This moment, and the overall feeling it gave me, was just one of those things that stood out in my heart and remained in the back of my mind. I just always knew inspiring young people was something I wanted to have in regards to my professional and life goals, especially the young people just like me.
To have the opportunity to give back to my hometown community, make it better for the next generation, and to furthermore inspire the young people to become their best self and create a life they love, there is nothing greater than that to me.

Now, I am not going to lie, but taking on a new role during a pandemic is nerve racking. However, I knew that it was the right move for me in spite of the circumstances we are under in the world of Education right now.
Even though I enjoyed my prior position, there were parts that were not as exciting to me, and I missed having long term relationships with students.
I have had multiple roles in higher education during my seven years in the field, and I have always enjoyed the roles that gave me the opportunity to help students over a long period of time more.

“When your dreams present themselves to you, grab them and have faith in the timing of life you are in.”

Outside of my work role changing, my boyfriend and I discuss our future as a couple a lot these days. We have been together for a little more than two and a half years and we have lived together a year. Naturally we are discussing our next step and future plans, like getting married and buying a home.
Even though all the changes happening in my life right now are good and exciting changes, I can not help but be nervous and anxious about them to a certain degree.

When it comes to learning a new job position I always put pressure on myself to know the job quickly and do it perfectly, and this is just not realistic. Especially with it being one of the busy seasons in the new role I am in.
Even knowing this fact I still find myself putting pressure on myself to know everything already.

With my personal life, I have never experienced a commitment as big as marriage, so this is very much uncharted territory and my anxiety is having a field day with it. Even being 100% certain my boyfriend is the person I want to spend life with, it is hard to feel confidant because I have never made a choice this big before.

The truth is that change is hard sometimes. It can be scary, uncomfortable, overwhelming, infuriating, and sometimes straight up painful.
However, change can also be beautiful, inspiring, exciting, breathtaking, and leave us feeling infinite.

While walking around one evening trying to process the many anxious feelings that were overwhelming my system, I decided to look around and take in the leaves changing in the trees.

Then it dawned on me…

“To change, grow, and transform, we have to let go of who we were and what we know. The season of fall has always been the season that shows us how beautiful letting go and embracing change can be.“

Letting go and embracing change means letting go of control and leaning into the unknown. Even when you are ready and sure of the change, you still have to step out on faith and hope for the best. Know that you are ready for whatever comes your way, and be grateful for the change especially if it is a change you are wanting. This is not a change in life to fear but one to embrace because it is a gift.

Some changes are ones we are not always able to anticipate, but I firmly believe changes in life happen to help us become who we are destined to be and to create the life we truly want.