How I got my Groom Involved in Wedding Planning
Last month my husband and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary!
It’s crazy to think how fast it’s gone and we’re closing in on five years of married life together. Maybe by that point I will have our wedding album put together so we can truly reminisce on our special day.
One of the special things we did as part of our ceremony was writing letters to each other to read in five years, and I am curious to see what we both said. I remember some of what I wrote to him, but not gonna lie the last few months of wedding planning were intense looking back.
Something that I knew early on when we decided to have a wedding was the fact I wanted my soon to be husband to help in planning it. I haven’t been involved in too many wedding planning activities prior to my own, but I always felt like most brides either planned primarily by themselves, with their mom, and/or bridesmaids.
Why I wanted my Husband to help in Wedding Planning:
I think the almost better question is why wouldn’t I want my future husband to help plan our wedding?
The fact of the matter is that our wedding day was equally his as it was mine. I wanted him to look around and know how much influence he had in making that day a reality, and the decisions we made along the way to make it happen. He also was the main contributor financially to our wedding, so I felt he should be happy and proud with how the day came out.
From day one in our relationship we have always done our best to share the load of life equally as partners, and we knew our wedding was just another way to do that.
How we decided what he would be in charge of with Wedding Planning:
Even though we had been together for almost three years at that point, we had never worked on a major project together. We knew what each other did in terms of our job history and skills, and used that to our advantage when assigning out wedding planning tasks.
I had planned events in my job roles and was good at staying organized and keeping things on schedule, but my husband having experience in the food/beverage industry and technology brought a whole separate set of skills to the table.
The main tool we used to keep our sanity in check with wedding planning was The Knot Wedding Planning To Do List. In the very beginning of the wedding planning process we looked at the main tasks and my husband picked out what he wanted to be in charge of. The tasks he would be in charge of would need to have limited oversight by me, and essentially a task I could delegate to him and not have to worry about.
We did everything together, but he led his tasks in a way so I wouldn’t have to stress or worry about getting it done.
Some of the main tasks my husband was in charge of fully was communicating with our Caterer, Rental Company, DJ, Rehearsal Dinner, and obtaining our Alcohol License and supplies.
My handsome groom and wedding planning teammate!
What we learned about each other by planning Our Wedding Day:
I will 100% say planning a wedding is one of the more stressful things I have ever done in life. It’s a day that has so much tied up in it from the emotions, finances, and everyone wanting to have input into everything. I will always look back on our wedding day as the happiest day of my life, but I wouldn’t want to go through the planning process again.
Planning our wedding together certainly tested our relationship and communication skills. We learned so much about each other during the planning of it all with how the other manages stress.
One of my biggest challenges was learning to “let go” of control with the task my husband was heading up, and essentially trusting him to deliver. This was an area we hadn’t explored much in our relationship prior so it was new territory for me. We eventually had weekly/biweekly check in’s, and monthly goal setting sessions to help us stay on one page together.
We also learned a lot about each others strengths in a different way. I always knew my husband had good communication skills with me, but seeing him really flourish in discussions with vendors was amazing.
Conclusion:
Wedding planning is exciting, joyful, and fun. It’s also stressful, expensive, and absolutely exhausting.
My husband I both agree that it was indeed one of the best days of our lives, and we will also cherish it.
We also feel like planning the wedding together made the day feel even more special to us, and really helped prepare us for bigger things in life like buying and managing our home.
It’s true that most grooms maybe don’t dream of their wedding from the age of five, but it’s important to get them involved so the day feels special for them and to keep your sanity in check as well.
Until next time,
