Mid-Year Reflection of 2020

Hello my loyal readers! Can you believe it is June already? This year is flying by and it has certainly been a bizarre one.
Between COVID-19 and all the protests going on the past few weeks, this year has been a heavy one.
I do not know about all of you but a part of me still feels like it is April, even though I know very well it is the month of June. Maybe it is because in April that is when my life, and many others, took some changes due to the pandemic. I started teleworking and all my plans for the upcoming months were canceled. I left my house once a week for nearly two months, and hardly saw my family or friends. Thank goodness I had Daniel and the cats, because it would have been harder for me than it already was during the early days of quarantine.
Hitting pause was easy to do for me in some ways, but it was still a change to process and a new way of life to adapt to.

A lot has been going on this year for all of us.

We have been in survival mode for months, and it looks like that is something that is not going to change fully anytime soon, but things are getting more normal for some of us.
In North Carolina we are currently in Phase 2 of reopening, and I have started going back to work twice a week for the remainder of this month. Since things are slowly normalizing more, I thought for this post it would be good to take the time to just reflect on what all has happened this year.

Like many of you COVID-19 was certainly a wild card this year, and has been the majority of 2020. Even though it has, and is scary, I have honestly appreciated the slow down and extra time to think, feel, plan, and reflect.
My favorite part of quarantine and social distancing life has certainly been reading and writing more.
This blog is something that I knew going into 2020 that I wanted to put more energy and time into. I always feel like the better version of me when I write, and it is something that I enjoy doing. The past two years it has been really hard for me to find the time, but with the quarantine it made me finally make the time because I had zero excuses.

It has been fun to resurrect this part of my world. I had to relearn some parts of WordPress, since it had been so long, and I am still learning it in some ways. Trying to develop more of a vision for the blog and flow to it all has been harder than I originally thought when I first started it in 2017.
I have had this blog space for three years now, and I feel I should be so much further along in the overall design, my writers voice, and capabilities as a blogger. This is something my boyfriend and I talk about a lot. He is always saying how I need to write and post regularly for me to find those things, and he is not wrong about that at all.
Watching his YouTube channel literally blow up and gain over 1,500 subscribers this year alone has been inspiring to watch for me. Seeing the hard work and hours he puts into it firsthand makes me insanely proud of him with how far he has come. It also makes me want to be more like him in regards to investing in this blog of mine.
Trying to figure out the blogosphere has been hard and challenging. It is so much more than just writing and posting things, which I failed to see in the beginning of my blogging journey. There is the SEO factor, which I have yet to even begin to understand the basics, the presence on social media, and just building out your vision overall.

Maybe those things come with time, and with posting things? Maybe they are things that people focus on before they ever start a blog?
Maybe….just maybe….one day I will get there as a blogger.

Most people know I love New Years Eve and setting goals for the following year. The past two years it has been a challenge for me to take the actual time to do it, and this year I waited until the end of March to finally write them down. However, I started implementing most of my goals in January and a little bit before.
Going into 2020, I really only had three main areas of life I was wanting to work on, but they were big and robust. However, they all centered around wellness. I feel that I have done a good job with working towards these goals so far this year, especially given the circumstances life brought with all the changes in daily life routines.

In my post “Boundaries Are Important” I touched on how during the beginning of the pandemic I was having to create mental and emotional boundaries to stay well. With all the protest that have been going on the past few weeks, I feel myself having to do the same thing.

Now, to be clear where I stand, I believe that Black Lives Matter.

I have worked with incredible students and co-workers that I know suffer from the racism in this country, and it just breaks my heart when I really think about what they have to go through and overcome everyday. To see lives taken so easily and to see the divide in our country, it can truly be disheartening and overwhelming.
I do not speak about my political opinions or beliefs often, because I know I will always offend somebody, and I really dislike conflict. I feel guilty thinking and feeling this way when there are so many unjust things going on in the world. I should be like so many people on my Facebook and Instagram feeds voicing my opinions and protesting. However, that is just not how I am as a person.
I have a sensitive and empathetic soul and mind. It is something I have accepted of myself over the past year, and it is a part of me I have to take care of on a daily basis. Even though I do not voice my opinions out loud, does not mean I am not seeing, listening, and trying to learn what I can do better at.

“At the end of the day the only thing we have control over is ourselves, so lets keep improving who we are, and just treat others how we would want to be treated.”

Growing up in a pre-dominantly white small mountain town, I will say that I was exposed to many beliefs that I would define now as “unjust.” Horrible opinions about people of color, and especially the LGBTQ+ community. I never fully agreed with these opinions growing up, but I also was not fully against them because I just did not understand.
It was not until I went to college that I really started going against my unconscious bias that I was raised in, and started growing my own beliefs and opinions. When I realized I had implicit bias, I remember thinking “I do not want to be this way and I want to be accepting of all people.”
Even though I have came a long way, and I can happily say I see people as people now, I know I have a long way to go in regards to talking about it and educating others.

“No matter how far we have come, there is still so much farther to go. It is important to give ourselves grace during difficult times, and times of growth and change. Nobody is perfect and we always have room for improvement.”

Whether you are trying to resurrect an old hobby or a forgotten passion, accomplishing your 2020 goals, or trying to educate yourself on racism in America and the Black Lives Matter movement, remember to give yourself grace.

“You have came far but maybe you can go even farther and starting somewhere is better than not starting at all.”

Let this month be a reset for you to figure out what all you have learned and experienced this year within yourself and life in general.
Reflect on things you want to keep doing after life goes back to normal, and how you can better yourself through these hard times of growth and change of perspective.

To any readers who have lost love ones to Coronavirus, or have been affected financially, know that I send my deepest condolences and good energy to you. To the readers who are part of the African American community know that my heart sees, values, and stands with you. To the readers in the LGBTQ+ community, know that I believe in your love, and that you should have the same rights as heterosexuals do when it comes to expressing your love.

Stay inspired!

Until next time,