The Journey Home: 3 Month Reflection
We have hit the 3 Month mark of being back home in the mountains! The best part about right now is summer is officially among us and I love the mountains in the summer time. Walking in town, festivals, movie nights outside, hiking and walking on trails, tubing, etc. Summer nights filled with cricket sounds and bright stars shining down, as the moonlight shows the shadows of the mountains. It truly is a form of paradise! The last time I was in the mountains for the summer was in 2012, which is crazy to believe. While running with my friend the other night I asked, “is it normally this cold in June?” She laughed at me for being cold and said “yes this is normal.” I guess the four summers of being in the hot humid south of South Carolina, Florida, and Georgia ruined me and thinned out my blood.
So what all has been going on since my Four week Reflection? My friends and I are running and training to run all sorts of 5Ks this summer. We have even ordered some jerseys! Most of us ran Cross Country and Track in High School, so it’s fun to train with them again, even if our bodies are a decade older and slower than our High School counterparts. Running with them holds me accountable and pushes me to run and train harder. Plus the quality time with my friends is wonderful! We catch up about what is going on with our individual lives, laugh and joke, and talk about the “meaning of life”. Having last minute nights like we did this past week to celebrate “National Chocolate Ice Cream Day” are unbeatable to me. Even though I have almost been out of the loop group wise since we graduated High School eight years ago, besides my visits to town here and there, it’s as if no time has passed at all. We have had disagreement and fights, been at different “places” in life, and have gone months without talking. However, we always pick up where we left off. I sometimes refer to myself as the “prodigal friend” because I have gone my own way multiple times, but I always return, and they always love and accept me back without hesitation. I feel incredibly lucky to have them in my life, and to actually be a part of their lives more now is what makes being home so wonderful to me.
In other news, I am still on the search for a more permanent place of my own closer to where I work. Right now I am staying in my grandmothers old house, which is nice and I feel fortunate, but I MISS MY STUFF! I never realized how much I loved using my dresser, vanity, desk, etc. until I haven’t been able to these past few months. I also really miss hanging up all of my pictures and inspirational quotes. So I am on the hunt for an apartment big enough to hold all of my stuff, but at a good price that will not break the bank. Finding that in Western North Carolina is like searching for a needle in a haystack. Living out of boxes makes transitions hard because you constantly feel in limbo. I know once I find my own place, and fully unpack, I will feel more settled into my new chapter in life. At least in the meantime I am FINALLY getting my work office set up. Work is getting really busy and I am working on new projects that are both challenging and fun. Challenges to me in the work place are fun because that means I am growing and learning new things. Of course I would love this because two of my top five strengths are “Learner” and “Intellection.”
Letting Go Is Hard
Even though being home has been great there have been moments that are really hard for me.
Over the past three months I have really missed my old office family, because they were my FAMILY while I was in Georgia. When they post photos at Celebrations, Boomerang videos, and even just simply talking in the GroupMe chat, that is when I realize how much I miss them. I miss them because again they were my family and friends that kept my life afloat over the past year and half. We would chat about all things in life! We would hangout outside of work by going to movies, games, and other fun things on campus. We worked out together and went on walks. When things went south with my car messing up and needing a ride they were there for me. When I was rushed to the emergency room they were there for me. When I had an extremely rough day they would reach out to me. I always looked forward to the work week because I would get to see my awesome family! To me that is a beautiful feeling. To love and appreciate the place and people you work with. For that they will always be special to me and will always have a place in my heart.
It’s always hard to move and transition into a new chapter or season in life, even when the place you are moving back to is where you are from. It’s hard to let go and move forward without the fear of losing people along the way. To let go of the fear of possibly never seeing that person again or making more memories.
If there is anything I have learned in my life it’s that those who are meant to stay part of your life will. They will value, cherish, and appreciate your existence. They will show you that by reaching out, by staying in touch no matter the distance, and by making plans to see you again. However, it is important to remember that even if they don’t stay in touch it doesn’t mean that they don’t care. I say this because there are many people I haven’t stayed in touch with over the years, but it doesn’t mean I don’t care, or wouldn’t be there for them if they needed me. Nobody is perfect at staying in touch. We get busy, our lives get crazy with obligations, and before we know it months have passed by without touching base. I am trying to come to terms with the fact that losing and falling out of touch with people is normal in life, and that you can’t stay 100% connected with people all the time. It’s something I actively work on but most days I come up short. Thankfully, we have Social Media so I don’t feel too far from people.
Conclusion
The past three months have been a whirlwind of changes, emotions, stress, etc. I have had ups and downs, and there have been both good and bad moments. Change is hard and it takes a toll on you in a deep way. Letting go and moving forward without the fear of losing people is a lot to deal with emotionally speaking, especially for someone like me who values relationships with people. However, sometimes I just have to remind myself I am doing my part and the best I can. Maybe the emotions are good or maybe they are bad, either way it means I am alive and human at the end of the day.
Until next time,
